Music To My Ears

Try as I might I have never been cool, and this innate ability I have to be totally un-cool usually manifests itself in the form of a passion for ridiculous music. If there is one thing I’m good at it’s enjoying the delights of a novelty song. When people speak of soundtracks to their lives or songs that take them back to a particular point in time, they usually have meaningful records, or at least songs that make them sound slightly current. However the songs that remind me of good times are numbers by the likes of Bombalurina and Frank Ifield.

The reason I’m telling you this is because Christmas is my favourite time of the year, presents galore, family and friends flooding in and out of the house and enough food to feed a small country, but the best part of the whole period is revelling in cheesy music, and not really being judged too much on my terrible taste.

My obsession for all things cheese probably comes from the paternal side of the family. I have received plenty of stick for participating in family sing songs (pretty cringe really) but I can always remember something funny and always slightly naughty being sung at family gatherings. One of my favourites goes a little something like this. Ahem......

I like working down the sewer

All amongst the piddle and the poop

Picking up the little bits of paper

Polishing up the automatic winder

Down in the sewer all amongst manure

That’s where the navvy does his bit

You can hear shovels ring

With a ting-a-ling-a-ling

When you’re working down the sewer shovelling shhhhiiiiiiiiii........

Whilst I may put a few good tunes on here, (well that depends on your opinion I suppose) when you have a scroll through my Ipod it’s full of Chas and Dave and the like. Don’t get me wrong I do appreciate a well penned verse, sung by a husky voiced male to a banging guitar riff (note my lack of musical terminology which probably has something to do with my lack of taste) but I am always drawn to out of tune voices, stupid lyrics and strange instruments.

Christmas time tends to bring out a whole manner of different qualities in people, a lot of people do charitable deeds, some unleash their inner Nigella and I transform into Tony Blackburn. I don’t normally get invited to organise the Chirstmas playlist but this year I’m going to make one that nobody can forget.

And I will finally fulfil my ambition to learn the Wham Rap.